Dual....:-)
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
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