Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
