We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
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