i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
Randomize
