You don't have asthma, your pregnant
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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