i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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