will power is for people who don't want to get laid
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
