Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize