How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
