There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
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