I want to stick my p in your. b.
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
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