a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Randomize
