So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Randomize
