Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
So vagazzling was a success
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
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