Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Randomize