Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
