come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Randomize
