Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
operation harelip BJ is a go
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
I need moral support for this bender
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Randomize
