why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
Princesses don't give blow jobs
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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