There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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