I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
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