Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
Randomize
