I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
Randomize
