Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
