ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize