I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
Randomize
