so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
I just forgot I was standing up.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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