I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Randomize
