Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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