careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
you are never too drunk for berry picking
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
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