I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
