I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
It's not a walk of shame if you run
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