I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
Someone shattered a urinal.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize
