You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
