is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
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