I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
