Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
You've changed since you got that strap on
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
Randomize
