awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
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