I'd wear matching sweaters with you
I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
