i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
