Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Randomize
