I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
Randomize
