Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
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