She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
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