I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
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