he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
did i walk over a car last night?
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Randomize
