Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize