apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
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