Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Randomize
