just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
Randomize
