Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
Randomize
