He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
Randomize