You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Randomize
