Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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