discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
