Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize
