Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
Randomize
