My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Randomize
