Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
