So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
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