i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
Randomize
