Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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