Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
