the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Randomize
