I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Randomize
