I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
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